Monthly Archives: July 2014

47. Find your strengths in life

As part of the PERMA model we are discussing I would like to expand on the last letter A:

A - Achievement

We have come to the last element of our PERMA model, and that is achievement. According to the Corporate Finance Institute ( PERMA Model - Overview, Core Elements and Workplace Application (corporatefinanceinstitute.com) - 8 March 2022), we all take pride in something we've finished or accomplished that strengthens our self-esteem and our confidence that we are worth something. When we achieve something, we feel good and want to do more and become more. In other words, it is not that you must be the best in something, receive the gold medal, or be the top achiever. But you need to have goals, aspire to learn something new, stretch yourself, and surprise yourself. It is not achieving the goal, but working toward the goal that gives us a sense of well-being and happiness. Therefore, have goals you can work toward in your work, in relationships, in exercising, in your eating plan, and so forth. Give yourself something to aspire to; we all need those goals in life, for it greatly aids in living a flourishing life. Otherwise, life will be very dull and flat with nothing to look forward to.

In order to add a little color to your life, you can also work toward mastering something. Whether it is a new language, cooking skills, painting, playing an instrument, dancing, exercising, photography, etc., it will add some flavor to your life. Working at mastering something really builds self-esteem and helps your confidence. Even if you just achieve 1 percent of improvement a week, you can be quite good before two years have passed. Just do not give up. It will be worth the effort.

Part of achievement is also knowing what your strengths in life are and working with it. The strengths need to be essentially who you are, and they must be effortless and energizing to you. Once you have identified your strengths, then find opportunities to use them. Ask yourself, "How can I focus on my specific strength? How do I use it to bring about a positive emotion? How can I use it to be fully engaged and in the moment?" Zoom in on that and use it.

Recognize and manage your weaknesses, but don't spend too much time on them. Rather, focus on your strengths. It really makes you happy to focus on and use your strengths! Your strengths energize you! In a team situation, use your strengths; go for that. Don't just do what people think would be best in a situation, rather do what you are good at. Decide to see and appreciate the beauty instead of the negative and ugly.

So how do you know what your strengths are? There are many tools you can use. One that I often hear from fellow Christians is called Strengths Finder, and they found it very valuable. You can search it and have a look at it. One that I quite like (and the test is for free) is one from the Institute on Character. You can take the survey for free, and they will list the twenty-four strengths from your strongest to your weakest. It was truly spot-on for me and my clients, and it is very interesting when you explore these strengths a bit deeper. The link to the VIA survey is:

https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register

Here are the twenty-four strengths divided in their six categories:

  1. Wisdom and Knowledge-Love of Learning, Perspective, Judgment, Creativity, Curiosity
  2. Humanity-Love, Kindness, Social intelligence
  3. Justice-Teamwork, Leadership, Fairness
  4. Temperance-Humility, Prudence, Forgiveness, Self-Regulation
  5. Transcendence-Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence, Spirituality, Gratitude, Humor, Hope
  6. Courage-Zest, Bravery, Honesty, Perseverance

Which do you think are your top strengths? Of course as Christians, we have within us all of these, and some are really beneficial to us. For example, we need to forgive people because the bitterness of holding on to the hurt is detrimental to our spiritual growth. All of us as Christians have spirituality as a root, and all of us love God and are expected to love our neighbors. All of us need to be grateful and have hope. Yes, this is all true. But these are inherit strengths within you that require no effort on your part. It is so easy for you to portray these strengths you do not even think about it; it is effortless and you can excel in them. For example I know I must forgive people and with God's grace and a lot of prayer I do, but my son's strength is forgiveness, for him it is so easy, he doesn't even think twice about it. Someone might hurt him today and tomorrow he will forget all about it and move on as normal treating that person the same as the rest. It is truly effortless for him.

Find out what your top five strengths are. Use any tool you deem appropriate. Then have a look at these strengths. For instance, if your strength is kindness, then ask yourself the following questions:

-       What does kindness think like?

-       What does kindness feel like?

-       How does kindness act?

-       How can I use kindness in my relationships, in my team, on holiday, when I lead, alone at home, etc.?

Ask yourself these questions over all your strengths, and decide how you are going to use them. Using your signature strengths on a daily basis energizes you and helps you to lead a flourishing life. No matter what your current occupation is, you can use your strengths right there where you are. Who knows, maybe your strengths will lead you onto a new path in the process of using them.

(Excerpt from Flourishing: God's Way by Ilze Henderson)

46. Find your meaning in life

As part of the PERMA model we are discussing I would like to expand on the fourth letter M:

M - Meaning in Life

There is so much more to life than money and possessions; life needs to take on meaning. Without providing meaning to your life, life becomes dull and empty. Just look at celebrities living in multimillion-dollar homes, going on exotic vacations, and yet many of them are unhappy, depressed, and a couple have even taken their own lives. Why? Because life needs meaning. We all want to belong to something greater than ourselves and feel that we are contributing toward a goal. We need a sense of purpose in our lives. If you have a goal and a vision in mind, everything becomes easier and more achievable. You therefore have to have a purpose no matter what you do in your life.

Fortunately for us as Christians, we already belong to Someone greater than all of us. We were bought with a price, and we are infinitely special to Him. Our goal is to glorify Him, to spend time with Him, and to expand His Kingdom. We are all part of His Kingdom, citizens of Heaven, and He wants us to support one another and to bring others into His Kingdom as well. How we do it will differ from person to person, but our goals and purposes are the same. In order to find our meaning in life, it is very important that we are grounded in who we are in Christ. The Bible tells us clearly who we are in Him. I would like you to read a summary of who we are in Christ from my book The New Covenant, pages 149-150 (Available on Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/New-Covenant-Ilze-Henderson-ebook/dp/B0824VP2G5/ref=sr_1_5?crid=1ZXCUTS7OZLIO&keywords=ilze+henderson&qid=1653732256&sprefix=ilze+Hender%2Caps%2C440&sr=8-5) :

"You are in Christ and Christ is Mine. Christ is your wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, redemption, your hope of glory with the promise of life in Him. You have the mind of Christ and you live with Him by My power towards you.

"You are part of His flesh and of His bones. He nourishes and cherishes you just as His own body. For as Jesus is, so are you in this world.

"You as believers have become partakers of Christ, you are in Him. For in Him you are holy and without blame, you are sons of Mine with forgiveness of sins. You have obtained an inheritance and are sealed with My Holy Spirit of promise.

"You have overcome all, because of your faith in Jesus. He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. I promise that all things will work together for good for those who love Me.

"You are now saints, for you are sanctified in Christ. Jesus will deliver you from this present evil age, for your sins are forgiven you for His Name's sake.

"You are a new creation, for it is no longer you who live, but Christ who lives in you by faith. Your old man was crucified with Christ, so now you are free from sin and the basic principles of this world.

"You are sons of the light, a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, My own special people, for I called you out of darkness into My marvelous light. For if you walk in the light as I am in the light, you have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, My Son, cleanses you from all sin.

"You are My Temple on earth, with Jesus Christ as the foundation and My Spirit dwelling within you. You are a citizen of Heaven."

This is truly who we are in Christ today. When you meditate on this and stand firm in this truth, then your life takes on new meaning.

Now, as I said, all Christians' main goal is the same: to glorify God, to spend time with Him, to expand His Kingdom, and to care for our brothers and sisters in Christ. How we do that differs vastly based on our talents, abilities, and personalities. His Word tells us clearly that we are one body, but different members with different gifts:

"One and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills. For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. For by One Spirit we were all baptized into one body and have all been made to drink into one Spirit. For in fact the body is not one member but many. Now you are the body of Christ and members individually" (1 Corinthians 12:11-13, 27).

All of us have different gifts of the Spirit and different talents and strengths. Through God's grace and His infinite wisdom, He has given me the ability to find out what someone's specific mandate in life is. I have started by doing it for myself, and it has made a profound difference in my life. Knowing my mandate has set me free from so many bondages, and it has given me wings to fly, knowing who I am in Christ and what my specific role to play is. The devil has lied to me about so many things in the past, and since knowing my mandate, I can call his bluff and stand tall in who God created me to be. For example, God has given me the ability to teach His Word. But people do not always want to hear the truth, and they start to avoid me and not invite me to certain events. The devil will tell me that I must fit in, so I must stop proclaiming the truth of God's Word so that I can reach more people at the parties I will be invited to, if I just keep my mouth shut. But since knowing the full extent of my mandate (this is only part of it), I could stand firm and continue with what God has placed on my heart, and I have been so much happier, knowing the meaning to my life. It truly has made a profound difference for me. I have since revealed many other people's mandates as well, and I have seen the impact it has had on their lives too. So I encourage you to go to your pastor, life coach, mentor, or you can come to me (my contact details are on my website www.ilzehenderson.co.za - we can do it virtually as well if you do not live close by) and find out what your mandate in life is. Do not put it off any longer; it will truly help you on your life's journey ahead.

Another thing I want to leave you with concerning meaning is that you ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing. It is a very important question to ask. Even if you have a high-flying job, you need to know why you are doing it. If it is only for the money, you need to rethink a lot of things. I had to ask myself this question a number of times in different areas of my life. For example, why am I writing books? Why am I helping others to find their mandate in life? Why do I exercise? Why do we go to our specific church? Why do we live where we live? There are many things that we just accept as it is. Or maybe it's something that worked for us two decades ago and we still find ourselves there. We need to ask ourselves the question, "Why are we doing what we are doing?" and if we cannot really find a suitable answer, then we need to realize that maybe it is time to make changes. We need to be motivated by the right reasons to do what we do. Then it will be a pleasure for us, and we will make meaning of it. Like the personal trainer said to my husband at the gym: "You need to know why you are here. When you know why you are here and where you want to go, then you will be much more motivated and get better results. If you do not know why you are here, you might as well leave."

(Excerpt from Flourishing: God's Way by Ilze Henderson)

45. Godly relationships

As part of the PERMA model we are discussing I would like to expand on the third letter R:

R - Relationships

As human beings, we were created to be connected in relationships. We were created in God's image, and God is constantly in a relationship-God the Father, with His Son, Jesus, and His Spirit. The Trinity is in constant relationship with One another, and They created us in Their image. So we are in relationship with Them, but They also created us to be in relationship with one another. They created marriages, families, friends, brothers, and sisters in Christ. It was God's idea from the beginning. We are, therefore, not meant to be alone, but to form part of a group; we have that natural desire rooted within. We were wired to need love, affection, attention, interaction, and emotional support when things get tough ( PERMA Model - Overview, Core Elements and Workplace Application (corporatefinanceinstitute.com) - 7 March 2022). We need people in our lives who we can share good news with, we need people who can celebrate success with us, and we need people who can support us and who we can cry with. It is very important. Also, we need to celebrate the success of others, be truly happy for them, and support them too! It actually lifts you up and makes you feel better as well.

Loss of connection with people is very dangerous. The COVID-19 pandemic has amplified this with social distancing. The authorities really used the wrong word, as social distancing will kill you inside before the virus does. They actually had to rename it "physical distancing," as you still had to be socially active through electronic means. But now that the pandemic is over, we really need to connect physically again too. It is very important. At one stage in my life, I was very angry and disappointed in people in general and tried to avoid contact with people as much as possible. But it made matters so much worse. I realized that isolation is not the answer, as it leads to loneliness and that is much worse than what anyone can do to you.

Now I am not saying that you need to connect with a huge amount of people on a daily basis. Extroverts would love that, but introverts would feel drained. All I am saying is; have a couple of people in your life that have your back. Research has shown that it increases well-being and happiness if you have at least one person in your life who you can call to help you or to give you advice, people who truly have your back no matter what. We all need people like that. If you do not have people like that, then join communities, such as a church, an outreach, a Bible study group, or go and do some volunteering. You are bound to meet like-minded people there. As the old saying goes: "Be the friend that you would like to have."

Then pray about it and be open to God's leading. He will bless you with the right friends in your life. Just do not isolate yourself and think they will come knocking on your door. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. You need to put yourself out there. The harvest is great and the workers are few (Matthew 9:37). There will always be a place for you to volunteer, help, and learn together with other believers.

One skill that is very important to learn in creating new relationships and also in maintaining them is to listen. There are few things in the world that make me feel so insignificant to someone else than if they don't listen to me. They may hear what I am saying, as nothing is wrong with their hearing, but they do not listen. They are either preoccupied with their phone or other gadget, or they simply do not value what I have to say. Needless to say, relationships like that do not run very deep. But we also need to be good listeners. If we truly want lasting good relationships, we need to learn to listen and to follow up on what we heard being said by the other party. As Winston Churchill said (https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/winston_churchill_161628 - 7 March 2022):

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."

To truly listen is an art, and it takes courage, especially in conflict situations or in the work environment with a colleague that you might not agree with or during negotiations. But just sitting still and being quiet doesn't mean that you are actually listening. True listening is to really understand what the other party is saying. Do not listen trying to formulate an answer to them. Be an active listener; try to understand their point of view. You don't have to agree with them, but you can at least understand why they are feeling the way that they do. Listening is the foundation! As Stephen Covey, the writer of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People says ( https://www.keycompounding.com/about/seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood/ - 7 March 2022):

"Seek first to understand and then to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."

We can learn from that. There are many instances in the Bible where Jesus really listened and waited before He replied. He truly listened and spent time with people trying to understand their intent and their hearts. We must do the same. Seek to understand first, then to be understood; this is very important in all relationships. Much heartache and pain can be spared this way.

(Excerpt from Flourishing: God's Way by Ilze Henderson)

44. Are you engaged in your life

As part of the PERMA model we are discussing I would like to expand on the second letter E:

E - Engagement

Being engaged with what you are doing means to be there in the moment, to be present and to flow. Unfortunately, human minds tend to wander. According to research done by Killingsworth and Gilbert from Harvard University, a wandering mind is not a happy mind. The ability to think is a cognitive achievement, but it comes with an emotional cost (chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/viewer.html?pdfurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwjhwww.harvard.edu%2F~dtg%2FKILLINGSWORTH%2520%26%2520GILBERT%2520%25282010%2529.pdf&clen=170965&chunk=true - 3 March 2022).

Not many of us are engaged with what we are doing at the moment. We are all over the show, either in the past or in the future, or we are busy thinking of other things instead of the task at hand. This research of Killingsworth and Gilbert shows that what people were thinking whilst doing something was a better predictor of their happiness than what they were actually doing. So let's say you like to exercise, but while you are exercising you are thinking negative thoughts. You are still angry with your boss, and you still feel that you were overlooked with your promotion, etc. Then a lot of the benefits of exercising are lost. A blank mind/neutral mind is also not great; it can deduct up to 10 percent from your happiness. But if you think of pleasant things-see the sky, the flowers, enjoy what you are doing, tell yourself that you are so happy now- it contributes up to 10 percent on top of the activity that you are doing. So if you want to work on your happiness, then do those activities that you like doing, but make sure that your mind is present. Tell yourself that you are so happy now, that you are enjoying the moment, and that you are loving your life. Notice the small, yet beautiful things all around you and appreciate that.

We live in a province that is not known for its physical beauty. Our family, on the other hand, lives in arguably one of the most beautiful places on the planet. Often I would imagine myself living there instead of where we were living. I would imagine the mountains and the sea and all the beauty surrounding me, and I would think that I would be so much happier if we just lived there. However, we had a good business where we lived, so it would be wise to stay right where we were. So one day I just decided that I am going to see the beauty where we live, and I am going to love it and enjoy every minute of it. Since making that decision, I have seen so many beautiful things. I have learned to appreciate so many things right where we were living (like the weather, we definitely have the best weather in the world!). I can truly say that I now love to stay right where we are. I am enjoying it, and I feel fulfilled. It was just a mind shift, and it has made all the difference for me. Just making conscious decisions to be engaged and mindful and happy right where you are can change your whole world. Therein lies so much happiness locked up, waiting for you to just turn the key and unlock it.

Also, when you are socializing make sure that you are present in the conversation. Have you ever had coffee/lunch with someone who checks their phone every few minutes? How does this make you feel? Do you feel valued and important, or do you feel as if you do not really matter to this person? Of course you do not feel valued or important, because the person is not engaged in your conversation; they are distracted and all over the show. And the distraction of social media has a lot to do with it.

Social media can be a great tool in so many areas, but it has totally disengaged us from the world. Social media can be incredibly disconnecting and can actually make you feel very lonely. Obsession with likes, shares, etcetera can become very unhealthy very quickly. And the more isolated and lonely we feel, the more we go on our phones, and it just makes matters worse. It is an evil cycle. We then try and post just the best so that others will like us, but in fact, we are breaking inside and just seeing how others are having "fun," which is mostly fake as well.

Social media is tightening its grip on us and stealing our time and energy. Beware that social media blurs opinion and fact. It is free from standards and sanctions and can be providing misinformation (half-truths) and disinformation (untruths) leading you to a very different destination that has the ability to make you very unhappy. Remember, there is a thing such as "bad science." We rely on YouTube for all information instead of on facts. Most of them do not have the scientific backgrounds to say what they are saying. It leads us to become dangerously superstitious, being fooled by pseudoscience, and becoming uninterestingly irrational and conspiratorial. Conspiracies can make you dangerously irrational. Unlearn dangerous mind-capture and rather follow God's Word and His guidelines and scientific studies combined with the experience of many years of experts. God will show you what to believe and what to do about your beliefs. He cares about you affectionately and passionately; He doesn't want you to be twisted up in lies. He wants you to be free and to enjoy the present moment.

We need to be engaged again in what we are doing. When you are spending time with God or a friend, put the phone away. When you are working, focus on your work, rather than checking your emails every few minutes. I have the ability to concentrate for long periods on end, and this has helped me tremendously with my studies and work. But the last couple of years I have noticed my attention span shortening. For example, I will be working, then suddenly I will wonder if it is going to rain this afternoon, then I check my phone, and in the process I'll see a WhatsApp as well as an email, with links to videos that I must see, and before I know it forty minutes are wasted. I wasn't engaged in what I was doing. Then I feel bad about the wasted time and try to make it up until something else distracts me. It got really bad. I had to force myself to keep my phone away and look at it only when I take breaks and not before. I also left most social media sites, as they stole at least an hour of my day. Slowly but surely my attention span has improved, and I get so much more done, which in turn leads to me feeling happier about my progress. But what about teenagers who do not have the self-discipline to do it? I have so much sympathy! We as parents should help them and give them the right guidance.

We need to be engaged in what we are doing, we need to be in the present moment, and then do our best. But if you make a mess in the process of trying your best, then it is not such a big deal. We are not superhuman beings; we all make mistakes. Ask yourself: Will this still matter in ten hours, ten days, ten months, in ten years' time? How bad is this really? Make amends as far as you can, forgive yourself if need be, learn from your mistakes, and move on. Do not be too hard on yourself; you tried.

Also, part of being engaged in the moment is meditation, prayer, and deep breathing. These three elements help a great deal to keep you in the present moment and to allow His Spirit to flow though you. After all, God's Name is the great "I AM," not the great "I WAS" or the great "I WILL BE." God lives in the present moment. In this moment, He engages with us and deals with us. It is the present, the gift that He blessed us with. His grace is sufficient for today; we needn't waste it on tomorrow (Matthew 6:34). Rather, live in His presence today, in this moment, and experience the grace that He wants to bless you with. Be here, in the moment, right now. It is truly a very precious gift. Do not miss out on all the wonderful things that God is blessing you with. It is all around, waiting to be discovered by those who take the time to do so.

(Excerpt from Flourishing: God's way by Ilze Henderson)

120. Easter 2024

This Easter I was reminded once again that Jesus is our King. The King of kings and the Lord of lords. He is the one and only Potentate:

"He is the blessed and only Potentate, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, dwelling in unapproachable light, whom no man has seen or can see, to whom be honor and everlasting power." 1 Timothy 6:15, 16

Now what may you ask is a Potentate? Synonyms are monarch, ruler, sovereign, but it is so much more than that. Potentate in this context means all powerful, ruler over all. And Paul specifically says He is the only Potentate, no earthly ruler can even come close to Him. And this was evident once again over all of Easter.

Jesus gave His life willingly. We see in John 18:5,6 that the whole detachment of Roman troops fell backward to the ground when He stated His Holy Name 'I AM' to them. Jesus was so powerful that the mere mention of His Name sent them flying to the ground. No other ruler can do that.

Jesus dismissed His Spirit on the cross when His work of releasing us from our sins were done. No other ruler could decide when to die, but Jesus could. And the Centurion next to the cross was converted on the spot, he had never seen someone on a cross deciding when he wanted to die. Criminals hanged for days, begging people to kill them and get them out of their misery. Not Jesus, He decided when it was finished.

Jesus rose from the grave and defeated death. No other leader could hope to do it. All the mighty leaders of the past are still in their graves. Not Jesus. When His work in the realm of the dead was done, He rose and appeared to His followers.

He is mighty and nothing and no one is a match for Him, Hallelujah!! It was such a wonderful revelation to me once again, that our King is mighty, powerful and in charge. We are part of His Kingdom, now already and when we make His Kingdom our primary concern, everything else will be added unto us. This made me rejoice this Easter. What a wonderful prospect, to be part of His Kingdom now already, with the Holy King as our King, looking after us and reigning with goodness and grace. Protecting us and guiding us towards the best pathway for our lives. Hallelujah!

We glorify You as the King of kings and the Lord of lords. You are the one and only Potentate and we declare that You are in charge of our lives. Thank you that we can be part of Your Kingdom now already, what a wonderful privilege. We love and honor You! Amen.

43. Create positive emotions

As part of the PERMA model we started last week I would like to discuss the first letter P:

P - Positive Emotions

If you think logically about it, positive emotions are about feeling good and therefore it is the quickest path to finding happiness. But in our day and age, positive emotions are fleeting and few and far in between, but they are still very important. Therefore, we need to make a conscious effort in finding them. They are all part and parcel of what Jesus came to give us, but sometimes we get so lost in the demands of this world that we lose sight of them. It is then that we need to look for them again and open our hearts to receiving it. First, let's just have a look at a few positive emotions: faith, joy, hope, empathy, gratitude, and the greatest of all, love. For God is love, and in Him is all good things. God wants us to dwell and to savor positive emotions. He created them. Of course there comes times when we might be angry or upset, we can use those emotions too, but the quicker we can bounce back to positive emotions the better for us and our overall well-being.

Fortunately, there are a couple of ways to cultivate more positive emotions in our lives:

  1. Make a list of things that make you happy. Write on the list things that can easily be done on a weekly/monthly basis. For example, you like to spend time alone with God, you like to exercise, you love romantic movies, you enjoy baking, you love chocolate chip ice cream, you love reading action novels, you love creamy coffee, or you love watching and playing sports. Whatever the case may be. But it must be controllable things that you enjoy. Do not put things on your list that are dependent on others; for example, it makes you happy if your kids get along with one another. Now that might make you happy, but you have no control over it. So do not put it on your list. Rather, put things on your list that you enjoy doing and that you have full control over. Then do it on purpose. Make sure that you get to your happy list on a regular basis. Make a point to do at least one of the things on your list every day, and while you are doing it, consciously think how happy this makes you feel. This is truly powerful and will allow for regular positive emotions to flow through you. God has blessed us with so many things to enjoy in our lives, and we need to make sure that we do themJ.
  2. Despite all the negativity all around you, make sure to listen to positive messages too. Try to listen to Christian podcasts regularly. Hearing of Jesus and how wonderful He is and about what He has done for you truly opens doors in your heart to experience positive emotions. We need to hear positive messages regularly, despite all the negative news surrounding us.
  3. Practice gratitude on a regular basis. Frequently write down or simply meditate on things in your life that you can be grateful for. Also, try to think of different things to be grateful for every day. We all have so much to be grateful for, so do not think of the same things every day. When we think of things to be grateful for and express it, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin, the two crucial neurotransmitters responsible for our emotions, and they make us feel "good." They enhance our mood immediately, making us feel happy from the inside (https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/ - 3 March 2022). Allow me to share the following quotes with you about gratitude; they are truly profound and can impact your life in such a rewarding way:
    1. "Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgiving, turn routine jobs into joy and transform ordinary opportunities into blessings." Proverb - (https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/ - 3 March 2022)
    2. "Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy-because we will always want to have something else or something more." Br. David Steindl-Rast (https://gratefulness.org/resource/what-is-gratitude/ - 3 March 2022)
    3. "We cannot be grateful for all that a given moment brings us; yet, in any given moment, we can be grateful for something. The gift within the gift of any given moment is opportunity." Br. David Steindl-Rast (https://gratefulness.org/resource/what-is-gratitude/ - 3 March 2022)
    4. "Grateful living is important in the world because in our constant pursuit of more and better we can easily lose sight of the riches that lay right in front of us and within us." Guri Mehta (https://gratefulness.org/resource/what-is-gratitude/ - 3 March 2022)

The Bible also exalts gratefulness. God knows how important it is for our well-being. There are many verses, but allow me to just highlight two of them:

"In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

"So you shall rejoice in every good thing which the Lord your God has given to you and your house" (Deuteronomy 26:11).

Gratefulness is an essential key to happiness and to living a flourishing life. There is a richness locked inside that is priceless. Cling on to that and make sure that you express your gratitude on a daily basis.

  1. We will talk about relationships in the next devotions, but I would just like to briefly mention here that you must make sure that you have friends who can make you feel good about yourself and who will help to evoke positive emotions in your life. If you are surrounded by negative people all the time it will drag you down. People with low energy levels will sap you of yours. Of course God wants us to interact with all people to bring them closer to Him, but make sure that you have godly friends close to you who will lift you up and bring you even closer to God where all positive emotions reside. Make close friends on purpose with people who lift you up. They will help elevate you. Research has shown that you become a lot like the five people you interact with the most. Therefore, choose wisely who you allow into your inner circle. It will truly impact your world more than you think.
  2. Laugh. Try to laugh as much as you can. As Victor Hugo says:

"Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face." ( https://ir5.irishnight.org/bible-verse-that-says-laughter-is-the-best-medicine/ - 3 March 2022)

 

The Bible affirms this and says that laughter is the best medicine that there is: "A merry heart does good like medicine" (Proverbs 17:22).

Research also shows that humor can help to assist with academic excellence. Students who studied with humor achieved much higher marks than those who didn't. (www.hannahfitzsimmons2018wordpress.com - 3 March 2022)

 

This applies to all areas in life. Humor makes life so much easier and more manageable. It also keeps you healthy like the Bible just taught us. A couple of years ago, I homeschooled my youngest son for a year. He has a great sense of humor, whilst I am more serious about academics and I wanted to get the work done asap. But he always wanted to make a joke first. In the beginning I was so annoyed and simply started working, but God reprimanded me and said that I must loosen up, learn from my son, and enjoy life in between all the chores. I listened and really enjoyed his humor and laughed more than I had in a decade. It was good for me and taught me to see the lighter side of life. I mean, look at all the different funny-looking monkeys and fishes that God created; some of them are truly comical to look at! God has a very good sense of humor. Therefore, try to see amusing things all around you. Spend time on purpose with people who make you laugh or look at clean comedy shows that are funny or even try to laugh at yourself! It is truly liberating. As my father always says: "Tread lightly in life, do not take it so seriously, then you will do well."

 

(Excerpt from Flourishing: God's Way by Ilze Henderson)

 

42. Tools for living a flourishing life

God doesn't want His children just to drudge through life, not looking forward to the future, simply doing what is expected of them and not enjoying anything. He doesn't want that. Yes, the Christian life is not always easy; you might be persecuted for your faith, sidelined because of what you stand for, or you might be pruned by God to bear better fruit in future. But through that whole process God wants you to be able to experience His joy, for the joy of the Lord is our strength. He wants you to live with hope in your heart on a daily basis. Even Peter sang hymns whilst being locked up in prison (Acts 16:25). All the Jewish feasts except the Day of Atonement were celebrations of the goodness of God. They were truly joyful feasts filled with dancing and singing, and it just shows us what God wants for us. We were once in Jerusalem on a Friday night when their Sabbath started, and wow it was joyous! They got together in circles and danced and sang, laughing and rejoicing, family and friends together in unity. It was a wonderful sight to behold, and I realized that it was and still is the true heart of God for His children. The Christian life is a victorious one because Jesus bought us with a high price. He doesn't want Christians just laboring through life, no, He wants Christians to thrive. The word thrive in a thesaurus can mean to flourish, prosper, succeed, boom, bloom, blossom, increase, be healthy, and so on.

But I know for a fact that most Christians do not feel this way, because for most of my Christian life, I haven't felt it either. Most Christians are stressed, anxious, worried, downtrodden, tired, sad, etc. I have felt most of these emotions in my life too. But God has given us resources and tools to use to live a flourishing life, and since I have started to apply these in my life, I have felt a change within me. Even though circumstances haven't changed, I enjoy my life so much more. In chapter 2, we discussed our emotions and how to handle that. That is the first step towards wellness. Here, I would like to discuss the PERMA model with you ( https://corporatefinanceinstitute.com/resources/careers/soft-skills/perma-model/ - 3 March 2022). The PERMA model represents the five core elements that need to be healthy in your life in order to live a flourishing life. These elements are mentioned all over the Bible, and although we know these things, it truly helped me to see it all together to be able to practically apply it to my daily life:

P-Positive emotions: Increasing positive emotions

E-Engagement: Engaging with the world and our work (hobbies)

R-Relationships: Creating deep and meaningful relationships

M-Meaning in life: Find the meaning and purpose of your life. Why did God create you?

A-Achievement: Achieving goals through cultivating and amplifying your talents and strengths in life

We will discuss this more in detail now, but what I love about PERMA is that it is all biblical and within our control. Jesus has opened the pathway to Heaven and His grace for us. Now we can do our part by making sure that we really give attention to all five core elements, and then we can be well on our way to living a flourishing life.

(Excerpt from Flourishing: God's way by Ilze Henderson)

41. Renew your mind

"Don't copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is." Romans 12:2

Do not copy the people of this world. Do not behave like they do. This world is all they have and they will cheat and manipulate to get the optimum out of it. They will trample over all who gets in their way, not caring who gets hurt in the process. Do not be like them. Rather train your mind to focus on the spiritual, to live in the wonderful realities of what is true about you. Your mind needs training just as an athlete trains. Athletes practise hard for the big game, the big event. They strain all their muscles to receive the prize. They do not become complacent, but give it all they've got. I designed it that way to teach you important principles. Muscles need exercise to function at its best. Your brain is a muscle too and you need to exercise your brain muscles to think My thoughts. For from thoughts spring forth your actions. And actions will determine your outcome. I came to create a new person inside of you. This new person is special and will live forever. And now your thoughts need to be realigned. Your thoughts now need to follow your new creation, the old patterns need to be replaced by much better ones. Right thinking leads to right believing, right believing leads to right living, and right living leads to spiritual freedom. And when you have attained spiritual freedom you will experience Kingdom life in all its fullness, success in areas you have battled with, power beyond comprehension and true joy springing up from within.

(Excerpt from God Whispers by Ilze Henderson)

40. Find God's will

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 2 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NKJV)

"For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men." 1 Peter 2:15 (NKJV)

I often times hear My children say something to the following effect: 'If only we knew the will of God.' Or 'We can never know the will of God, He is too difficult to understand.' And so I can go on. The sad part is that My will is open, available to all My children through My Scriptures. My will is for My children to rejoice always, to pray without ceasing and to give thanks to Me for everything that I bless them with. My will is also that they allow My Spirit free reign within them to change them from glory to glory to become like My Son and to do good in all situations to all men. My will is that My Kingdom expand through the workings of My children. That is My will. I want My children to excel, and I want them to grow into the fullness of who they are in Me. It is actually so simple. But when one is carnally minded, focused on this world and earthly acclaim it is very difficult to understand. But when you are spiritually minded you are at ease, because My life and My peace will flow through you, changing your world around you. Be open to My leading, listen to My voice whispering to you, then you cannot go wrong. When you walk as My representative in this world, you are walking on My pathways and within My will. How liberating is that? You needn't walk like those in the world without clear direction, no, you will be walking on your God-ordained path, with flowers and streams decorating the path.

(Excerpt from God Whispers by Ilze Henderson)

39. Find your real treasure

"This message was kept secret for centuries and generations past, but now it has been revealed to His own holy people. For it has pleased God to tell His people that the riches and glory of Christ are for you Gentiles, too. For this is the secret: Christ lives in you, and this is your assurance that you will share in His glory." Colossians 1:26, 27

Do you realise the significance of the statement that I live within you? Do you realise that I, in My fullness live inside of you? Feel the burning sensation within and come to the realisation that Someone bigger than this Universe is inside of you, governing your life. Someone with infinite wisdom is whispering ancient secrets to you. Unzip these secrets in this life. Everywhere lies hidden treasures, waiting to be discovered.  I will help you to discover them. All you need to do is to read My Word and to renew your mind to a point where you believe what it says about the real you, the new spirit that you are. Then go out and share your revelation and appreciate the things in life that really matters most. Therein lies your treasure, more valuable than gold sprinkled with diamonds. The richest atheists have discovered at their death bed that all the treasures in the world couldn't save them, because at the end of the day it wasn't treasures at all. Your true treasure is hidden in Me, and when you are joined to Me, you will find it, everlasting and without rot and decay, far above this world. All the rushing of this earth amounts to nothing. Time spent with Me encompasses everything. Come and discover more and more who you truly are in Me. I have so much to show you, so much to teach you and with every passing moment spent with Me you will be lifted higher and elevated above this world. Your life will be more rewarding than ever, sharing in My glory.

(Excerpt from God Whispers by Ilze Henderson)